Social selling basics: build trust before you pitch

Social selling means using professional networks and social media to build relationships with possible customers, by being visible and useful, long before and alongside any sales conversation. It is not advertising, and it is not sending sales messages to strangers. Done well, it means that when you finally contact someone, they already know your name and have a reason to trust you.

This guide does not depend on any one platform. The ideas work on any professional network or social media site. What every platform has in common is a set of rules, its terms of service, that you accept when you sign up. Social selling only works inside those rules.

1. A professional profile

Your profile is the first thing people look at when your name appears. It should answer three questions in a few seconds: who are you, whom do you help, and with what?

• A clear photo of your face, friendly and recent. No logo instead of a face.

• A headline about the people you help, not only your job title.

• A short "about" text in plain language: what you do, for whom, and one example. No buzzwords.

• Honest details. Only list skills and roles you really have. Name your employer.

Worked example: a headline. Jonas Weber works at Trey Research, a fictional market research firm.

The "after" version tells a marketing manager in retail in one line whether Jonas is relevant to them.

2. Share useful content

Most of what you post should help your audience without selling anything. Useful content includes:

• Lessons from your work: "Three questions we now ask before every customer survey, and why."

• Short how-tos: a checklist, a small template, a common mistake and how to avoid it.

• Comments on news in your customers' industry, with your own view, not just a link.

• Other people's good work, shared with credit and a sentence on why it is worth reading.

Post regularly rather than often, and only when you have something to say. If you praise a product of your own employer, make clear that you work there.

3. Connection requests with a reason

A connection request from a stranger with no message is easy to ignore. A request that names a real reason shows that you are a person, not a machine.

Worked example: three requests to Elena Novak, head of marketing at Wide World Importers.

4. Comment before you pitch

Commenting on someone's posts is a way to join their conversation. A thoughtful comment shows what you know and lets the person get to know you. It is the opposite of a pitch.

Worked example: comments on a post by Elena about falling response rates in customer surveys.

If you comment usefully over a few weeks, a later message is no longer cold. Even then, it should ask about the other person's situation, not announce your product.

5. Etiquette

• Answer comments and messages on your own posts.

• Respect people's time. Keep messages short and give a clear reason.

• Accept a no, or no answer. One polite follow-up at most, then stop. When someone says they are not interested, do not contact them again about it.

• Keep it professional. Do not comment on people's looks or private lives, and do not contact people through private channels they did not share for work.

• Be transparent. Use your real name and say which company you work for.

What not to do

Some practices are common but break platform rules, the law or the trust that social selling depends on.

• Automated mass messaging. Software that sends hundreds of the same message, or sends connection requests automatically, breaks the rules of many platforms and can get your account restricted or closed. It also turns social selling back into spam.

• Scraping. Copying profile data in bulk with tools or scripts is forbidden by the terms of service of many platforms. Personal data in a public profile is still personal data: in the EU, the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) applies when you collect and use it, whether it was public or not. This is an overview, not legal advice.

• Fake engagement. Buying followers, likes or comments, or joining groups that like each other's posts by agreement, misleads everyone who sees the numbers. Platforms remove such activity, and people who notice stop trusting you.

• Fake profiles and hidden identity. Pretending to be a customer, a journalist or a neutral expert while selling is deceptive.

• Pitching in the first message. It is the fastest way to be ignored or blocked.

Read the terms of service and community rules of each platform you use. They change, so check them again from time to time.

A week of social selling: a worked example

Jonas from Trey Research wants to reach marketing managers at retailers. One week, about 20 minutes a day, might look like this:

1. Monday: update the headline as above and check that the "about" text has one real example.

2. Tuesday: post a short lesson: "Why we stopped asking 'How satisfied are you?' and what we ask instead."

3. Wednesday: read posts by five marketing managers and leave one thoughtful comment.

4. Thursday: send two connection requests, each with a real reason.

5. Friday: answer comments on Tuesday's post. One reader asks a question, so Jonas answers it in detail and asks whether a short call would help. She says yes.

No mass messages, no tools that act on his behalf, and every contact has a reason.

Common mistakes

• Treating the network as an advertising channel. Posts that only praise your product get little attention.

• Copying the same message to everyone. People notice templates, especially when the "personal" detail is wrong.

• Measuring only followers. A few conversations with the right people are worth more than many followers who will never buy.

• Giving up after a week. Trust takes time to build. Social selling works over months.

• Forgetting that everything is public. A rude reply or a careless joke can be read by your future customers and employers.

• Ignoring the rules. Automation tools promise speed, but a restricted account loses everything you built.